Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy

The media never stops banging on about women’s health, particularly in the wake of the disgusting revelations about Planned Parenthood. They’re always telling us that “women’s bodies” and “women’s choices” should be paramount. But just how healthy are the solutions to unwanted pregnancy that they propose?

Ladies — I’d like you to imagine that you are Neo from the popular film franchise The Matrix. For the purposes of this thought experiment, I am Laurence Fishburne, except with really good hair, a charming personality, and of course I’m much blacker than he is.

In one hand I hold a pill that lets you see the truth, even if at it first it is very bitter. In the other I hold a pill that you have to take every day and it will keep you from getting pregnant at the low cost of turning you into a hideous monster.

Ask yourself before continuing: are you ready for the truth, or do you want to continue turning yourself into Gollum for the benefit of not having to practice any sexual responsibility at all? Okay, different movie franchise, but you get the idea.

God-fearing nutcases like me have long argued that birth control, like abortion (or “the murder of children,” if you prefer), is the work of the Devil. Like all things discouraged by the Bible, it leads only to misery and suffering — for young men as well as women.

Now, assuming you’ve chosen the right pill, I can prove with the power of science that religious folk were right all along and that science has a little-known but undeniable Roman Catholic bias.

BIRTH CONTROL MAKES YOU FAT

Let’s start with the grossest form: injectable birth control. IT MAKES YOU FAT. A 2009 study from the University of Texas found that women using DMPA gain an average of 11 pounds over three years, a 3-4 per cent increase.

Worse, this was abdominal fat, which is linked to cardiovascular disease, strokes and diabetes. 25 per cent of women on DMPA experienced “significant and potentially dangerous body composition changes.” Yes, that’s right. They became dangerously fat. On the bright side, they’re able to stop the injections at that point because being fat is the best form of birth control anyone could ask for.

So in other words, your birth control injection will add on pounds that will prevent the injection you really want — of man meat. This, in turn, will lead to depression and excessive ice-cream consumption, which adds on more pounds. Eventually, you’ll find yourself in what medical professionals call “a vicious cycle” but what I call FFAS, or “Female Forever Alone Syndrome.”

BIRTH CONTROL MAKES YOUR VOICE UNSEXY

It’s not just your body that will get less sexy. Your voice will lose its seductiveness too. Women sound most attractive to men when their estrogen levels are high, and their progesterone levels are low. Birth control lowers the former and raises the latter, making women sound as erotically appealing as Bruce Jenner giving a croaky acceptance speech.

If you think the man of your dreams will be eager to meet you after that first Skype call where you sound like a lumberjack, keep dreaming. Men trust their senses and will create a mental picture of you long before you meet. Do you really want to be labelled a pity lay, betrayed by your whacked-out hormones? No you do not.

BIRTH CONTROL MAKES YOU JIGGLE WRONG

Women on the Pill don’t look right and don’t talk right. What could be worse? Well, they can’t jiggle correctly either. A study from the University of Göttingen in 2012 gauged the attractiveness of female dancers. Men judged fertile women as more attractive dancers — and even walkers — than women in their non-fertile phase.

The researchers speculated that estrogen fluctuations during a woman’s fertile period can affect muscle, ligament and tendon strength, leading to subtle differences in movement. Fertile gals, in other words, have all the right moves.

The rougher elements in society will talk about a woman’s posterior — or mine — and describe the way a quarter might bounce off it. Birth control’s estrogen enroachment is liable to have that coin ricocheting off into someone’s eye or just slowly sinking in (see cottage cheese, below).

BIRTH CONTROL MAKES YOU CHOOSE THE WRONG MATES

It’s already established that going on the Pill makes you less attractive to men. But it also affects who you’re attracted to as well. Healthy, fertile women seek out men who are genetically different to them. Women on the Pill do the opposite, seeking out men who are closer to their own tribe. That’s right, ladies: the Pill turns you into Lannisters. I understand lusting after close relations might be a positive thing in some locations, such as West Virginia, or Norfolk, so YMMV on this one.

BIRTH CONTROL MAKES YOU UNSEXY ALL THE TIME

Don’t be fooled into thinking that birth control only makes you stupid and unattractive during your fertile periods. Although studies have found that female strippers make an average of $70 an hour during peak fertility, versus $35 while menstruating and $50 in between, women on the Pill averaged $37 — just two dollars more than a menstruating woman — and obviously had no performance peak for periods of fertility. To put it as one of my beloved rappers might: to make Wall Street, you gotta be in heat.

If you’re dropping hints to a man who doesn’t even know you exist, it might be because according to his brain, thanks to your birth control, you’re as attractive as a post-menopausal cat lady.

BIRTH CONTROL MAKES YOU A SLUT

It’s well established that women lust after rugged, manly men during their fertile cycles, and prefer baby-faced “provider” types outside this period. Indeed, this alternating pair of desires is the leading cause of female infidelity. However, imagine how accentuated this process is with women on the Pill.

A single month of it would be enough to have even the most loyal woman deliberately tripping attractive men and falling on top of them… regardless of affirmative consent. Be aware lads, if she’s on the Pill, you’re probably getting cucked — unless you’re dating a polyamorous third-wave feminist, in which case you’re getting cucked no matter what birth control method is being used (and let’s be honest, it’s probably abstinence).

BIRTH CONTROL MAKES MEN UNMANLY

Birth control has a knock-on effect on men, too. During ovulation, women are more likely to be critical of unsexy men. This, of course, is vital to the health of masculinity. Female nagging is, of course, 90 per cent pointless noise, but the 10 per cent that occurs during an ovulation cycle is what men should listen to, because it could help them be more manly. Of course, if your woman’s on the Pill, you won’t hear it at all.

(This one is a stretch, I know, but I’ve added it for the sake of completeness. As far as I can tell most women are hysterical hypercritical harpies towards their boyfriends and husbands the vast majority of the time. Man am I relieved to be a fag right now.)

BIRTH CONTROL GIVES YOU COTTAGE CHEESE THIGHS

Cellulite is the stuff of nightmares. It’s the ugly, dumpling-like ridges you see on the thighs of overweight women. It’s true some fellows like thick girls these days, but cellulite will slam the brakes on any guy’s lust.

But did you know that cellulite didn’t exist before the Pill? According to The Scientific American, pictures of women with cottage cheese thighs are almost impossible to find prior to the 1970s. That doesn’t necessarily mean the Pill is responsible, of course: other factors like increasingly sedentary lifestyles and the rise of fast food might have been responsible.

Might have been. But the Pill is the most likely culprit, because cellulite is linked to estrogen imbalances. What causes estrogen imbalances? The Pill!

THE PILL MAY HAVE DESTROYED THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE

Take a look at the graph below. It’s divorce rates in the U.S., overlaid with the rise of the pill.

Exactly why there is such a close correlation between the rise of the Pill and the rise of divorce rates we can’t say with total certainty, but the relationship is stark. Possible explanations include: a lack of children leading to fewer reasons for couples to stay together, and… all of the items mentioned on the list above.

Of course, if your darling wife has been on the Pill for the last five years of your union, you’ve never actually met her in her true form. When she finally stops dosing, you will be faced with a woman who has spent the last half-decade not learning how to deal with the Twilight Zone insanity endemic to the female brain.

When she comes off the drugs, be prepared for all your worst nightmares to come true. You literally just asked an addict to go cold turkey.

Now, you may be asking what I would have women replace the Pill with, since it’s obviously so awful. Condoms? Vasectomies? The answer is: nothing. We need the kids if we’re to breed enough to keep the Muslim invaders at bay.

Tossing out birth control isn’t just kinder to women, it may be the only way to save civilisation. Sorry, no offence, but it’s true. And hey! It’s what God wants, too.

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Never Take a Christian Leftist to the Zoo

It’s the uncontested opinion of a very small circle of my friends that we will never take a Christian leftist to the zoo. Aside from the fact that Christians have had a historical tendency to be thrown to the lions, there have been a few cases in which Christians have thrown themselves into the lion’s den. But this grisly reason aside, the reason we never take a Christian leftist to the zoo is purely selfish. It’s because he’s more likely to throw you to the lions, and then praise the Lord for making him better than everyone else.

This latent brand of leftism most usually makes an appearance when you’ve got to make a serious decision about your country’s survival. Then all of a sudden the un-neighborly neighbor begins spouting all kinds of scandalous things on Facebook about how God has not given us a spirit of fear and pretending to risk his life in reckless causes with minimal payouts at maximum expense. And there’s almost always a catch. The reason God hasn’t given him a spirit of fear because He’s given you one. And He has given you one because you are the person who’s actually being endangered.

For instance, you can find a liberal Christian worrying about the people in prison – but not about the people they harmed to get there. You can find him clamoring to spend more on the poor – but not with the money that’s taken from him (it’s most usually stolen from children). He frequently tells us not to judge – but only the things and people he personally feels comfortable around. He always wants to house illegal immigrants and hostile refugees – but never in his own home. He wants us to get rid of our weapons because of the children, and wants us to get rid of our children because of the mothers, and he claims that he who loses his life shall find it. We applaud him in the last measure – we give him liberty to lose his life. We want him to pack up and evangelize to ISIS. We do not give him liberty to lose ours or anyone else’s.

The liberal Christian is pitiable because he lives a life full of contradictions. His own morality isn’t even really moral, because it isn’t even really possible. He says, on the one hand, that the mark of the Christian is a wild and irrational charity, which means letting go of everything you ought to hold dear and grabbing on to everything you shouldn’t. On the other hand, he feels the need to lock his front door. He says that dying for Christ is admirable and then wonders whether living is moral. And he wonders this because once he’s decided that he’s responsible for the people he isn’t responsible for, every Christmas tree is purchased at the expense of an African’s meal and every hour of leisure spent at the expense of a soup kitchen. He gives so he can make the world a better place. When a part of the world is a better place, he quickly tries to make it worse. The moment he feels he’s helped you on your feet is the moment he will try to knock you off them.

The strange appeal of Christian altruism comes from the fact that it isn’t really altruism. Not only because there isn’t any such thing as altruism (which everyone with any sense already knows), but because Christians believe there isn’t anything to lose. In a certain sense they believe they have everything, which is why they appear to be ready to lose everything. The difference between liberal Christians and intelligent Christians isn’t that one has Heaven and the other one doesn’t. It’s that one of them knows the difference between giving everything and taking everything.

There’s a reason why “altruism” is so appealing, and it’s because the person who gives things gives without asking. It’s the same reason we avoid people who take without giving. At its core, we love altruistic people because we love being around people who benefit people (because we are people); and we love committing acts of altruism because we want other people to love us as much as we love ourselves. The people who say altruism is unselfish are ignorant of their interests, which means they’re also ignorant of yours. Altruism is an indulgence of our instinctual pity and an expression of our sociability. In Christianity, as in the rest of life, it is God’s means of glorifying Himself (Heb 12:2). All respectful acts of self-interest are moral, which is why Jesus spent the overwhelming majority of his life as a working man. An act of altruism is an attempt at endearment and a monument to self-worship.

The great beauty of the Christian religion is found not anywhere in Christian morality, but in the one thing liberal Christians are worse at than anything else – which is biblical theology. It lies in the fact that if there really is a God out there who knows you at your worst and gave you His very best, then everything we could suffer on Earth is only for a moment, and everything really great about life is going to last forever. It’s why Christians sing the sappiest love songs ever written. Christians love their God because He first loved them at His own expense. And herein lies something crucial. Had Jesus never been a member of the Trinity, the Gospel would have been a very different story – which is why Christians have been willing to kill each other over the doctrine. An intelligent Christian is a moral Trinitarian, and wants to give himself. A liberal Christian is morally Arian and wants to give someone else. And the someone else he wants to give is you.

What Christian leftists have forgotten is that altruism is a beautiful thing until it becomes mandatory – which is when it becomes murderous. And the moment we cross the line between giving without a reward and forcing others to give without a reward, we have left the realm of altruism entirely. There is a very specific name for the kind of people who view the lives, liberty, and property of their neighbors as nothing more than a means to a personal end – even if it is a “spiritual” end. We call them robbers, murderers, and tyrants. The liberal Christian robs and endangers Christians to enrich the world’s barbarians and losers, and he does it to glorify himself at minimal personal expense. The Apostle Paul said a man who refuses to take care of his family is worse than an infidel. It has yet to be heard what he’d say of a man who robs the body of Christ.

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Why Trump’s Winning: 9 Facts About Islam The Media Doesn’t Want You To Know

Using facts and common sense, Republican Senator 

Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AR) presented a very good case Wednesday against Donald Trump’s proposal to temporarily ban all Muslims immigration. Contrast that with the shrill sanctimony, the outright lies about Constitutional issues, and the politically correct emotional blackmail we’ve seen from the DC Media over the last 36 hours.

This is why Donald Trump is right now winning this debate.

The way in which Trump made his proposal, a press release no one saw coming late on a Monday afternoon, was a tactical move — one designed to keep his enemies off guard and sputtering. Whether it is Jeb Bush or Wolf Blitzer or Hillary Clinton or Joe Scarborough or the White House, they look dazed, confused, and weak.

Best of all, they are exposing themselves by retreating into their dangerous, politically correct talking points — talking points that lie about the true threat of Islamic extremism.

Here’s the thing, though: The American people know these are lies. They have seen Paris and San Bernardino and Fort Hood and Boston and Chattanooga and on and on and on and on. They have access to a New Media that tells the truth about Islam. Even if they don’t have all the facts, their instincts tell them something is horribly, terribly wrong when Obama and his DC Media allies paint Islam with Happy Talk.

Islam’s problem is not a few bad apples. Islam has been infected with a disease that is spreading and metastasizing. Thankfully, most Muslims have not been infected, but when you realize how many are, you understand that this is unlike any other threat we have ever faced, and that to compare Islam to white southerners or some other such PC nonsense, is just another part of the media’s cover up.

Here are nine inconvenient facts about Islam Democrats and the DC Media don’t want you to know:

1. Americans Muslims are 5,000 Percent More Likely to Commit a Terror Attack

“Muslims account for only about 1 percent of the U.S. population but account for about half of terrorist attacks since 9/11. That means Muslims in the United States are about 5,000 percent more likely to commit terrorist attacks than non-Muslims.” — Source

2. ISIS Is Already Everywhere In the United States

“Even with our smaller Muslim population, we have trouble keeping track. The FBI is reported to have nearly 1,000 active probes into ISIS supporters in the United States. Of those, 48 suspects are under intensive, 24/7 surveillance, straining the agency’s capacity. …

“There’s really no way around it: Continuing to admit 1 million Muslim immigrants per decade will translate into more attacks. We need to cut Muslim immigration.” — Source

3. 51% of American Muslims Back Some Form of Sharia

“According to the just-released survey of Muslims, a majority (51%) agreed that ‘Muslims in America should have the choice of being governed according to shariah.’” — Source

Because the media doesn’t like these numbers, they unilaterally declare the poll “widely discredited.” Other than partisan bedwetting and lying, there is nothing out there — no data — that discredits this poll.

The media just hurls the words “widely discredited” when facts interfere with their narrative.

ADDED: CNN’s Don Lemon also lied about this poll, which has a widely accepted methodology.

4. A Quarter of American Muslims Are Comfortable With Violence

“Even more troubling, is the fact that nearly a quarter of the Muslims polled believed that, ‘It is legitimate to use violence to punish those who give offense to Islam by, for example, portraying the prophet Mohammed.’” — Source

5. Disturbing Percentages of the World’s Muslims Support ISIS

Philip Bump, the happy-talking serial liar at the Washington Post, spins percentages as high as 14% as a positive sign that the world’s Muslims are “overwhelmingly opposed” to ISIS. When you are talking about 1.2 billion people, just 1% is frighteningly high. When you are talking about accepting refugees or immigrants from countries where anywhere from 1% to 14% of millions of Muslims view ISIS favorably, that is a massive threat to our security. — Source

I’m pretty sure is 5% of Christians viewed the Nazis favorably, the leftwing Washington Post wouldn’t spin that data as good news. The extent to which Philip Bump will go to lie and spin is almost beyond comprehension. And he was just getting started.

6. Disturbing Percentages of the World’s Muslims Support Suicide Bombings

Again, the happy-talking serial liars at the Washington Post spin the idea that “Muslims were much less likely to view suicide bombings as justified than five years prior” as some sort of science-back refutation of Trump’s concerns.

Rest easy with these incoming Muslim immigrants, America, because only 34% or 9% or 42% or 8% or 70% or 39% of the world’s Muslims view suicide bombings as justified. —Source

7. Only 81% of American Muslims Agree That Violence Against Civilians Is Never Justified

The happy-talking serial liars at the Washington Post spin the fact that only 81% of American Muslims say that violence against civilians is never justified, as “U.S. Muslims almost never consider suicide bombings to be justified.”

There are millions of Muslims in this country. This means that hundreds of thousands of American Muslims are in some way comfortable with the idea of using violence against innocent civilians. — Source

8. Disturbing Percentages of the World’s Muslims Back Sharia Law

Throughout the various regions of the world, anywhere from 12% to 84% of the world’s Muslims back Sharia Law. Only in Southern-Eastern Europe and Central Asia is this number below 64%.

Sharia Law means death to homosexuals, death to non-Muslims (unless they convert), and horrific oppression of women. ISIS has one goal: Sharia.

Anyone who favors Sharia Law is a “bad apple,” and in South Asia, Southeast Asia, Middle East North Africa, and Sub-Saharan Africa, the “bad apples” make up 84%, 77%, 74%, and 64% of the barrel, respectively. — Source

9. America Admits Thousand of Immigrants From Countries Where Muslim Favor Sharia

“Pew asked Muslims in 39 countries whether they want sharia to be law of the land where they live. The percentage who answer yes is very, very high in some countries: 99 percent say yes in Afghanistan, 91 percent in Iraq, 84 percent in Pakistan. On the low end, just 12 percent of Muslims in Turkey say they want sharia to be the law of the land; the number is 10 percent in Kazakhstan.

“According to a separate report from the Senate Immigration Subcommittee, the U.S. awarded 11,000 green cards to immigrants from Afghanistan from 2009 to 2013, 83,000 to Iraqis in the same time period, and 83,000 to Pakistanis. The U.S. awarded 22,000 green cards to Turks in that time, and 7,000 to Khazaks.” — Source

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Obama, Democrats, and the DC Media bury these truths beneath hate rhetoric that labels others liars and hollow platitudes about “our values” and “tolerance.”

And that should scare us more than anything else.

Trump wasn’t making a policy proposal as much as he was making a statement. The American people understand this, and those unafraid of the truth will, as I do, agree 100% with Trump’s statement — which is just another blow against the Temple of Political Correctness … against the Left’s “inhuman reign of the lie.”

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— Carter Banned Iranians from Coming to US During Hostage Crisis

— Russia WARNS Donald Trump OF Assassination Plot

— Most Americans ‘Know Little or Nothing About Islam,’ Survey Shows

— Upwards of 600 million Muslims worldwide support the death penalty for converts

— CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY: West Ignoring Christian Blood On Muslim Hands

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