2015 Name of the Year: Dr. Electron Kebebew
Posted by addisethiopia on April 6, 2015
We need to talk about Dr. Electron Kebebew – the highest-paid federal employee besides President Obama
Our fascination with the atomically-named doc began when a reader sent us a simple e-mail message: “Electron Kebebew. I let this guy cut me open.”
We discovered this was no joke: After years of surgical training, Dr. Kebebew now leads the NIH program in Endocrine Oncology and has quite possibly saved the life of at least one NOTY fan. Thanks to his atomic first name and his onomatopoeic surname that sounds like someone firing a phaser, Dr. K is the perfect candidate to follow in Dr. Loki Skylizard and Dr. Suparman Marzuki’s footsteps as the latest #1 seed bolstered by his PhD.
Dr. Kebebew entered the world with a Big Bang. His father, an Ethiopian electrical engineer, worried that his children would not follow in his footsteps as people of science. To make their career paths clear from birth, he named them after subatomic particles (or, for any physicist fans, strings simultaneously vibrating in 11 dimensions): Proton, Neutron, Deutron, Electron, and Electron’s anti-matter doppelgänger, Positron. If the Kebebew family had included any more children, we can only assume they would’ve been named Lepton, Hadron, and Quark.
While many NOTY nominees may have faced years of torment at the hands of schoolchildren before assuming their places in our celebratory tournament, Electron has repelled negativity and embraced his identity. In a 2007 interview, he said “When you have a name like Electron, people notice you, and they have expectations of you…But by and large, as I think back on my life, my name has been a positive influence.”
People also notice you if, like Dr. Electron, you are pulling down serious cash. In 2011, a report by the questionably named WikiORGCharts published the 1000 highest paid US government salaries. After President Obama, the highest paid civil servant in the land was none other than Dr. Electron Kebebew. The news swept through trade publications, the Big Government Hatin’, Freedom Loving Patriot Press and even made it’ way to the road-raging id of the internet, bodybuilding forums. Only down at the depths of the forums did anyone seem to take notice that, on top of being a physician, our highest paid non-elected official has a name worthy of the Hall of Name.
Will Electron complete a run through our field of 64? His journey, along with 15 others, begins today. Vote below, and stay in touch on Twitter.
#1 Dr. Electron Kebebew