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Archive for January 12th, 2009

5 Interpersonal Communication Problems

Posted by addisethiopia / አዲስ ኢትዮጵያ on January 12, 2009

 

connectedlikedog

That Get In The Way Of a Close Connected Relationship… 

There are many reasons why people have communication challenges in their relationships.

These five big communication challenges are: 

  1. Fear

  2. Beliefs and social conditioning that do not serve us 

  3. The desire to hold on to being “Right”

  4. Not listening to understand 

  5. Running away.

  • Notice that fear is put on the list first. 

    This is because fear is what we call the “silent killer” of communication and loving relationships. If you were to ask most people if they are fearful in their relationships, they would probably say “No.” If we were to delve deeper into their relationships, we might find that they withhold their true feelings when they are not sure how their partner will react. Whether you recognize it or not– this is fear in action. 

  • There is a belief that most people hold that says “don’t expect a great relationship to keep its spark.”  If there was ever a true disempowering belief, this is it. If you want a great relationship, don’t buy into this belief. It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

  • The next problem is the desire that most people have to be “Right.” Whenever you hold on to the need to be “Right,” you are building walls that prevent open communication.  The question is “Do you want to be ‘Right’ or do you want love?” Holding onto the need to be “Right” will always drive a wedge between you and another person. For the benefit of your relationship, If you’re doing this, you should stop it.

  • The fourth big case is not listening to understand. Most people really do listen but they don’t understand. The reason they don’t understand is that many people listen from their own agenda, listen so that they can fix the other person or a thousand other reasons. The fact is that unless you listen to other people with the intention to connect and to understand, there will always be distance and conflict. 

  • The last case is the way we react to conflict in our relationships.  When conflict arises, most of us will do whatever we can to avoid dealing with the issues that are going on. We’ve all heard of the “flight or fight” response when faced with a stressful situation.It’s been our experience that one of the biggest challenges in relationship is created when we choose to run away instead of staying present and agreeing to heal the differences between us. 

Well, these aren’t the only communication challenges that get in the way of a great relationship, but they are five of the biggest.

 

Posted in Love | Tagged: , , , | 12 Comments »

German lovers – aged six and five – try to elope to Africa

Posted by addisethiopia / አዲስ ኢትዮጵያ on January 12, 2009

 runawaykids

It is a dream that has been shared by lovers across the centuries – the chance to elope to exotic lands. But few would have been as bold and spontaneous as six-year-old Mika and his five-year-old sweetheart Anna-Bell who, after mulling over their options in secret, packed their suitcases on New Year’s Eve and set off from the German city of Hanover to tie the knot under the heat of the African sun.

 

The children left their homes at dawn while their unwitting parents were apparently sleeping, and took along Mika’s seven-year-old sister, Anna-Lena, as a witness to the wedding.

 

Donning sunglasses, swimming armbands and dragging a pink blow-up lilo and suitcases on wheels packed with summer clothes, cuddly toys and a few provisions, they walked a kilometre up the road, boarded a tram to Hanover train station and got as far as the express train that would take them to the airport before a suspicious station guard alerted police.

 

“What struck us was that the little ones were completely on their own and that they had lots of swimming gear with them,” said a police spokesman. He described Mika and Anna-Bell as “sweethearts” who had “decided to get married in Africa where it is warm, taking with them as a witness Mika’s sister”.

 

Anna-Bell told the German television station RTL: “We wanted to get married and so we just thought: ‘Let’s go there.’ “

Mika said: “We wanted to take the train to the airport, then we wanted to get on a plane and when we arrived we wanted to unpack the summer things and then we wanted to go for a bit of a stroll in the sun.”

 

Mika and Anna-Lena’s mother, who was not identified, said she had known nothing of her children’s plan. “I’m still in a state of shock. I thought ‘I’m playing a part in a bad movie.’ When we realised the kids were missing we went looking for them.” But only when the police called did they realise what had happened.

Asked why they failed to let their parents know, the children said they thought they would not be gone for long.

 

Mika told police he instigated the plan having been inspired by a winter holiday with his family in Italy. Based on this the children began to make plans for the future.

 

To allay their disappointment at being caught, Hanover police gave them a tour of the police headquarters.

 

May be they’ll have the chance to put their plan into action at a later date.

Posted in Love | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

 
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